I'm reading Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani at the moment, and it's proving more than a little frustrating. I know a huge part of my trouble challenging myself, especially with what really matters to me, is that I'm trying to get it Right—that is, Perfect—but most of what Saujani is citing about perfectionism in women and girls isn't what I'm struggling with: I don't have a fixed mindset, and while I worry about what others think of me, I've never seen their assessment of who I am as more valid than my own.

If I sift my feelings and thoughts for what really keeps me from pursuing my dreams, what motivates my worry and fretfulness over Getting It Right, this is what I come up with instead:

Fear of Commitment
What if I try something and I don't like it? Do I have to keep doing it just to do it? Am I a bad person if I give it up and move on to something else? And how do I know I won't come to like it if I keep doing it? Should I just pursue it and pursue it until I know for sure? And if I don't, if I decide it's not for me, am I feckless or unreliable or unworthy of my own, or anyone's, trust?

Don't Count Me Out
If I don't get it right the first time, I know I'm capable of getting it right eventually. I'm smart and persistent and...I don't fail. Not when it matters. But if I don't get it right the first time, will you still be there to see when I get it right? Or will you have decided I'm incompetent and unworthy of your respect and time? Will I be the only person to know I got it right? And if no one else sees, will that hurt my future opportunities? Will anyone even bother to show up by the time I can show off my new skills? Will anyone give me a chance once they're convinced I don't deserve one?

Return on Investment
Time is finite. Life is finite. What if this thing I want to do just ends up making me miserable and offering nothing in return. And don't give me that life-is-a-journey cliche: I know it's a journey...it's also a journey I want to spend doing more than just finding stuff I dislike over and over again. And what if the experience is so overwhelmingly negative that instead of developing resilience, it builds walls forbidding any future forays into the unknown?

Perfectionism and fear and worry over others' opinions of me are certainly woven into these feelings, but they're not quite what Saujani seems to be targeting. Perhaps her coping strategies will have something to offer, but isn't there another book out there with a more nuanced perspective on perfectionism? For those of us who are Faramirs instead of Hermiones? Please?