My mom is currently road-tripping across New Mexico, Airstream trailer in tow. It's her first big excursion, a sort of trial run for after she retires this coming winter, and so today's quizzes are in her honor.

Sev's son has insisted on folding the parchments into little frogs, so I'm going to see if he'll let them leap over here. Maybe if I make some enticing frog calls? ::ribbits unconvincingly:: Hmm. Maybe I should try being a little green tree frog instead? ::quacks, much more successfully:: Ah, here they come! ::muffled giggles in background:: I see you, kiddo! Are you laughing at my frog noises? You must know: this means war!

It seems I have a tickle offensive to put into action, but while I'm away, enjoy the quizzes!

Utah You are all the National Parks in Utah! Utah is home to 5 incredible national parks. Much like this state, you also have such a diverse collage of characteristics that you can’t be confined to a single park. Drawn to the pioneer spirit of exploring other-worldly red-rock and hoodoo-ridden landscapes of Utah, you find yourself at home among new and unknown experiences.

What Park Are You?

Woohoo! I would love to visit Utah's National Parks. All those weird and beautiful rock formations, the fragile desert, the colors—that is absolutely my kind of park! And I love that this result says I'm multi-faceted and at home among new and unknown experiences. That's not entirely true, but it is something I'm constantly trying to be better at. And that I crave in my life.

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Here the Whole Time pineapple-infused cucumber vodka, lime, black pepper syrup, ginger, soda

Which Pretentiously Named Cocktail from My Favorite Pretentious Bar Are You?

That photo is my best guess at what this cocktail might look like, but even sight unseen, it sounds refreshing and delicious. This quiz has tons of results, and the first time I took it, I got one called "These Unconfessable Things," which is "prosecco, four amari and grapefruit bitters; served over ice in a champagne tulip," which also sounds delightful...but a little less intriguing than this one. My mom has always been interested in cocktails, but everyone in the family has gotten really into making them the last few years. Since we're often at her house for holidays and family dinners, her liquor cabinet is the best stocked. My current favorite cocktail is the Aviation (stirred, not shaken), but almost anything spirit-forward appeals to me. I might have to take this description to my siblings and mom next time we're all together to see if we can turn the ingredients into a passable libation.

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The X-Files you are a whore for mutual yearning and close talking!!! also stop trying to recreate the specific feelings of childhood because they're too shrouded by nostalgia to even be real. you wish that you could fall so in love with someone that you didn't even have to say or do anything. you easily become dependent on others to feel valid, and when someone you care about doesn't validate you, your whole world can fall apart. also you are probably queer, probably a quiet and sweet friend, and again, definitely a whore! you probably like kate bush or julien baker

I Decide Which Detective Procedural You Are

Ah! So much to respond to here! I took this quiz because my mom is addicted to any and every kind of procedural (police, fire, law, PI). I did not expect to get a result that is a signpost for my own fandom and storytelling history. The X-Files wasn't the first show I loved (that would be Star Trek: The Next Generation), but it was absolutely the first show I loved as an almost-adult, and my discovery of it intersected with my exploration of the internet in really formative ways. ::cough::fanfic::cough:: ::cough::shipping::cough:: So am I a whore for mutual yearning and close talking? Fuck, yes, I am. I'm pretty sure my love of that dynamic came long before The X-Files, but I love The X-Files because it portrays that dynamic.

As for recreating those feelings of years ago, I've actually had that thought. When I watched the X-Files revival, I enjoyed it, but it was a little heartbreaking to emotionally and mentally travel back in time to college!Me when college!Me had distinct ideas about who I would be almost 20 years later that current!Me hadn't lived out. I love Mulder and Scully, but I think they belong in my past just as much as college!Me does. I don't even read X-Files fanfic anymore; instead, the landmark stories I read decades ago still live in my mind, growing and changing with me as I age instead of bookmarking a person I used to be.

As for the result's description of the relationship I long for...yeah. Kinda. I don't need to be so in love that I don't need to say anything, but I do really wish to know others and be known by them so well that it's easier to quash my own insecure doubts about a relationship. Which is probably where the wanting-others-to-validate me bit comes in. I know better than to rely on that, but it's nice when you don't have to fight so hard to provide your own validation all the time. I'm definitely a sweet and quiet friend but probably not queer. And while I do like some Kate Bush—especially the stuff that's a little more punk and a little less Ren Faire—I'm not really familiar with Julien Baker. (Chet Faker, on the other hand, I dig a lot.)