Well, you've only been in TX a few weeks. I think a little time to feel settled is in order.

"a lack of response requires interpretation"
I feel like I've had similar feelings though maybe not concerning the same situation. It's always hard to come up with a positive reason to explain them away too, and all that's left is the negative reasons. But while your emotional decoder might lean toward the paranoid, my does not necessarily point that way. If you're talking about the "people" I think you're talking about, I stand by my claim that they are just not functioning at a high enough plain and therefore don't know what to do with you. And instead of making an effort to think differently or see someone else's point of view and engage in discussion, they find it easier to say nothing and go on in their same old safe and comfortable thought sphere. Plus many of them seem cliquish and snobbish and just don't know how to include people. It's as if the only way they can create a feeling of belonging is by making others feel excluded, and so they form circumstances where they control who belongs. If this has nothing to do with the what I've assumed, please excuse the rantings of a mad woman.

As for the last part of your post, I think a little of that fear helps us grow and prevents us from becoming that which we fear. And while I can't claim to know what everyone you've met thinks, I do know for a fact there are some people who have never believed those things of you and never will.

If this has nothing to do with the what I've assumed...

No, you've nailed it. Of course. ;) (the telepathy is on...) And I can only say thank you for doing what you always do so well. You've turned my thoughts and interpretations upside-down, shaking the facts free of my bias, pointing out an explanation so simple I can't help but accept it. I may try and tell myself these things, but I never quite manage to overcome my inner critic. But when you say it, I believe it. Thank you.

As for the fear...why didn't I think of that? :D You're absolutely right. You're right. (See? Am so struck by rightness of this assertion, I can't say anything else....) Sometimes I'm fighting so hard not to be afraid that I forget that, in its proper place, fear is good for me. Thank you for being here to remind me.

Thank you, too, for being the Miss Maria to my Isabele. What would either of us do without a friend like the two of you?

...damn, there's some wicked assonance in that sentence....

I love it when the telepathy on! I'm glad I could be of some assistance, though it hardly compares to all the times you've bolstered my constantly sagging self esteem. Darn those annoying "people" and their seemingly small minds and hearts! (As a friend, I think I'm allowed a little bashing on your behalf. That's part of the friend job description: they're mean to those certain someones so you don't have to be :P)

As to what I would do without my friends... that's something a little too horrible for my imagination. :)

Wow, i am sorry to be so behind in comments, and so out of the loop on content. Everyone has gone through the "oh crap, everyone ignored what I just said. No what does that mean?" I can't specifically comment on the who's but the virtual world is devoid of emotional context. and that makes interpretation a slippery slope. It is however unlikely that your worst fears are being realized. In the grand scheme of things, face to face will always rule (may I forever be right) If your thoughts are not unfounded, then I would analyse why you need snot nosed brats in your life. And procced to decide you don't then, kick them to curb. (is this anything to do with that fanfic community?)

(is this anything to do with that fanfic community?)

Yep, indeedy. It does. It's the high school clique come again. And you're absolutely right. I think I'm definitely inching closer to doing a little curb-kicking...only I think I hate that I respond this way as much as I hate the situation that causes that response. So, while I am still undecided about whether to stay involved with these folks, I'm going to work on kicking my inner critic to the curb once in a while. Bloody bastard, she is.

And I agree! May you forever be right about face-to-face meetings! Can you imagine diplomacy via email? ::runs screaming::

Wow I feel snappy and right on. I guess you really need to weigh the relative values of what you feel the community provides, i.e. access to reading material, to Beta's, to MSG boards you enjoy etc. Vs. How much bitchery and attitude and all around mean spritedness are those things worth. Total it up and see what wins. Cliquish-ness is not so unendurable in cyberspace as say high school, and perhaps you can still enjoy elements of their community w/o having to engage in mud slinging, or engage the evildoers at all. And you can argue acknowlegding it, encourages it. go forth and conquer.