Bat

First: Congrats to Hermione! I am very glad that it all went well. You, m'dear, deserve a break! A nap and then a glass of vino and a good book and some sun and no one asking you for anything!!

Quiz #1: The classic board game that describes me is:
LIFE
You are Life.
You roll along with whatever life throws at you and try to make the best of it. Although you believe in the power of fate, you try to make some good decisions in life to help fate out! You are able to deal with anything that comes along and truly enjoy all the unexpected moments you experience. Life is about chance and little mysteries revealed to you as you go along. You're not sure where you will be ten years from now, but you are sure you'll be having a great time!
--
Pretty much. I'm not much for planning. My favorite vacations are the ones where we pick a destination but make no plans for how we get there. However, I'm not terribly fond of change and will resist and complain about it for eons before I acknowledge that it was probably a not so bad thing.

Quiz #2: Which Human Target character am I?
GUERRERO
There's this mysterious air around you. Even those closest to you can't quite pin you down. You may have unusual habits, but nobody holds it against you. You're the type who gets things done, no matter if it's against conventions. People sometimes wonder whether you're even allowed to do what you do.
--
Being unconventional is pretty much how I steer my course in life. :) I must admit, however, that I hadn't heard of this show til now. Sounds intriguing.

Some sun and no one asking for anything sounds so, so lovely. Alas, I must participate in real life instead. Bleh. And I love both of these results for you. I could see you making an adventure of the twists and turns in Life, and you'd love Guerrero. (Assassin, matter-of-fact torturer...just the name stirs fear in the hearts of the most wicked of the wicked. Love that dude.)

As for Human Target, it's very good. Of course, I feel a little as though the entire show was created just for me---a caper comedy/drama with the guy from Keen Eddie, the guy from Pushing Daisies, and the guy who was Rorschach in Watchmen. That is really, really hard to beat.

Quiz #3: The animal in me...
HIPPO

Genus and Species:
Hippopotamus amphibius

Collective Term:
A huddle of hippos

Careers and Hobbies
Collection Agent
Chef
Food critic
Receptionist
Baking
Eating
Knitting
Soap operas

Famous Hippos
Roseanne
Shelly Winters
Julia Child

Hippopotamus personalities are easy to identify. Of impressive physical bulk, they invariably attempt to disguise their size and ponderous movements. Wallowing in loose-fitting clothes or large tent dresses, their uncomfortable dimensions are the result of a compulsive eating habit. This massive bulk triggers an overwhelming hunger, and a hippo's life is centered around food and its preparation.

Most hippos never really accept themselves for who they are. Traditionally viewed as jolly fat people, they have tried every diet on the market. The hippo's heart is a cauldron of powerfully conflicting feelings and the average hippo loves to wallow in this emotional stew. It's not that a hippo gets angry more often than others, it's just that its emotion tends to be magnified to an outrageous degree. In fact, the wild variety of hippo kills more people than any other predator in Africa, including the malevolent crocodile.

Hippos carry around a great deal of unrequited anger from hurtful experiences in their youth, and although they're generally peaceful they can be aggressive when provoked. Consequently, others avoid them, further adding to their sense of alienation.

Despite this occasionally destructive behavior, there is no bigger heart beating in the animal kingdom. Hippos are loving, warm, creatures who are concerned with the emotional well-being of everyone they know.

Food acts as a salve for hippos' loneliness and alienation, and with their intimate knowledge of it they are excellent chefs and food critics. Extraordinarily fond of children they often volunteer for baby-sitting duties, finding solace in the unjudgmental nature of youth. Hippos are the first to bake cookies for the local school.

For some reason the IRS hires hippo personalities in large numbers - probably because of their aggressive and intimidating demeanor when agitated. Like the elephant personality, a hippo has a wonderfully rich voice. The deep resonance produced by their bulk, together with their desire to hide from society, makes them perfect for the role of a phone receptionist, operator, or even a phone sex actor.
--
Well. I gotta tell you, I probably spent the last half hour debating on whether I was gonna actually post this comment. (Edited to add: also, it seems almost a sign - LJ wouldn't let me post my original comment because it was too long - so I've split this part off into its own comment. Good thing I don't believe in signs.) Who knew that a stupid result on a stupid meme/quiz could make me so emotional? Really, there were tears. Ok, so there are tears as I'm typing this. Y'see, hippo was the one word that was used on me by my peers in elementary and middle school. Seeing this brought all that back, hard. And unpleasantly. I didn't want to put all this out there in the world - it's humiliating. However, this is just a quiz and it is just another result. And like all the other results of all the other quizzes, it is both accurate and inaccurate. Still, it's crazy what can pull an unexpected response from a person.
I do not anger easily. Though I do get annoyed and exasperated fairly easily. Also, I've never dieted. Ever. Also also, I do not like children. I do not volunteer to babysit lightly - if I've volunteered to watch your kids, you better believe that I like you a whole hell of a lot and that your kids are pretty darn good kids.

You know, when I started reading your result, I kept thinking, "Wow! That is really harsh!" and I thought, well, perhaps if you've created a quiz that uses the so-called natural world to define people, you feel justified in drawing all kinds of unkind conclusions. But every other result I read seemed to focus more on the positive side of a personality, whereas this one just comes across as judgmental. And the positive stuff at the end seems more pathetic than positive. As though a hippo personality views the world through wistful, unfulfilled eyes. Come *on*....

I'm glad you posted, though, if for no other reason than that you contradict your result so completely. Not just in the details you cited, but because that hippo personality as described would never have the confidence and inner stillness/worth to write what you did. This *is* just a result, but that doesn't diminish your hurt and humiliation, and I think you're awesome for being able to own your experiences without letting them curtail your life.

I'm Scrabble too! As for the animals, I am the walrus (see what I did there?):

"These apparently benign individuals are usually easy to recognize. When you think of walruses, think of those large people sunning their perfectly rounded bellies at the beach. Or just think of Wilford Brimley. Either way, the walrus is that ruddy uncle at the family reunion who dispenses charm and off-color jokes like donuts.

Ahh, donuts! Walruses have an unrelenting sweet tooth and a weakness for home cooking, and though they might seem comfortable with their roly-poly physiques one shouldn't overdo the teasing. Underneath that thick skin is a surprisingly sensitive spirit. But still, it's difficult to embarrass a walrus. Nothing in life is taken so seriously that it cannot be laughed at. Its infectious love for life contaminates everyone who has unprotected encounters with this hearty beast.

Walruses are not to be trifled with however, and as good-natured as they appear they can be cantankerous and aggressive when slighted. Mostly however, their bark is worse than their bite and their big-hearted natures soon reassert themselves.

Although it is accustomed to large groups of people, the walrus is self-contained and respects the privacy of others. It is happiest when surrounded by the comforts of home and feels little need to travel far afield.

Although walruses perceive work to be a complete waste of time, they are methodical and consistent employees and perform best in jobs demanding reliability and an understanding of the big picture. They function poorly under deadlines and prefer careers that enable them to work at your own pace, particularly as engineers, government workers, food inspectors or managers."

Yay Scrabble! And now I have John Lennon singing in my head. :) Not sure how you feel about all of the Walrus result, but I can see the sensitive spirit, love for life, self-containment, and respect for privacy: those come across very nicely in your journal and comments. And that job "demanding reliability and an understanding of the big picture" seems a good match for lawyer-type stuff. Bwahahaha. (Not sure if that's an evil or just a hearty cackle...hmm....)

I got the game of LIFE, which got posted.



I actually posted the Animal one on my journal I got

SHREW
The diminutive shrew is the archetypal insectivore. Intelligent, thrifty and self absorbed, it knows how to get what it wants regardless of who stands in its way. Cursed with an overactive metabolism, the shrew is unable to stand still for even a minute. Whether it's picking up the kids, shopping at a garage sale or poking its nose into other people's business, it just keeps going and going. If its outta-my-way attitude provokes resentment from friends, that's just too bad. A shrew's gotta do what a shrew's gotta do.

Sharing does not come naturally to shrews, and they are typically the last to pay their portion at a group dinner. It's not that shrews are greedy, rather they're responding to a compulsive need to save for the future. In this respect they are much like their cousin the mouse, who takes planning for the future to extremes.

With the conviction that it knows what's best for everyone, shrews are always ready with free advice. They seem to delight in butting into other people's private affairs. Sometimes the shrew turns this hobby into a career as a gossip columnist, movie critic, or TV evangelist. But more often than not, it retains its amateur status and practices on its long-suffering friends.

Because shrews are constantly on the move, careers that require concentration and sober thinking are unsuitable. They perform best in chaotic jobs and thrive on the unpredictability of disorder, making them natural production assistants, circus performers, wedding organizers or emergency room technicians.

Their predilection for collecting and organizing things would also make them good librarians or or bookkeepers, while the desire to keep moving makes them suitable for any job requiring travel and creativity.

Shrews' sharp eyes have a knack for spotting the hole in the fence, and with their ability to make instant decisions they impetuously seize the moment and scuttle on through. Their smart mouths and high energy are put good use in the workplace, and they excel as salespeople and journalists. But sometimes their reputation precedes them and they encounter built-in resistance to their pitch even before they've opened their mouths.

I thought Shrew was a pretty good fit for me.

I like Shrew for you, too, and I *knew*---even as I was taking the Human Target quiz---that you'd be Ames. She's just your style. Slight differences in execution, though. :)

I can't believe Hermione is married! Congratulations to her! I'm glad that everything seems to have gone relatively smoothly and that you survived. It always seemed like something that was far off, it's strange to think that it's over now. Perhaps in the future there will be pictures!

Anyhoo, when I saw your Winston result, all I could think about was Pushing Daisies, and how sad I was that it had been canceled. And now he's in another show that has been canceled. :( Honestly, I feel like I should have gotten a more Winston result instead the Ames result. Oh wells.

I love that it's called a cauldron of bats! This seemed a decent fit. And I totally think you should pull that out at the next marital status comment. Grr... I hate those moments.

Me too! And they never really seemed to happen until Hermione got married. Now these perfect strangers keep asking, "So you're next...right?!" and "Why did you let her get married before you?" I can't help but wonder who gave them permission to comment on my personal life. Jerks....

Ug, total jerks! I so hate that! It's the worst. :( I always want to throw questions like that back at them. Like, how would you feel if I asked you something like that, or why did you settle for so and so? But we're far superior people so we don't act as rudely or insensitively as they do.
At least now that the wedding is over, you won't have to hear it as much.