A former coworker, and friend, said something over 15 years ago about how he envied the generations that came before us because they all had something they lived through that crystallized their identity as a generation. The Great Depression, World War II, Vietnam and Civil Rights—he longed for something similar to shape us, to make us.

I remember thinking at the time that in that moment, I could tell he was six years younger than me. And full to the brim of the kind of hungry, dramatic glory-seeking that marks so many Young White Men stereotypes. Why, I thought, on earth, I thought, would you want something terrible to happen just so your generation had something important to define them?

His wish has drifted to mind often over the years, and when we experienced the pandemic, I thought, well, here it is, this is our generation's thing. But now we have a dictator pretending to be a president and siccing troops he can't afford to pay on lawfully protesting citizens while he deports Latine people to prisons in El Salvador and threatens similar horrors to judges and Congresspeople and reporters who oppose him. Other judges, Congresspeople, reporters, and lawful citizens look away while he deconstructs 250 years of (extremely imperfect) democracy in less than 5 months.

More protests across the country are planned for this weekend, and I have no idea where we'll be on the other side of them. Somewhere better, I hope, and I certainly plan to keep fighting in the ways I can, regardless—I'll have plenty of time for cynical resignation when I'm in jail—but I wonder if that old coworker is mature enough now to regret his wish.

Today's quizzes took a little longer to respond to than usual and have left me feeling in need of a chic cocktail. (And a wardrobe makeover, but let's aim for the goals I can accomplish, shall we?) And since it is Friday—and I have ice cubes!—a chic cocktail I will have.

Sev is pulling the ingredients together while his son is attempting to eat as many of the cherry garnishes as he can sneak away, so I will leave you to peruse the parchments ( and seek your own post-quiz libation. )

I'm gearing up to make tofu tacos for the first time, and I'm both excited and a little impatient for them to just be fixed and ready to eat, already. This, in a nutshell, may be one of the reasons why I will never be a truly joyful cook. Do I take pride in being a capable and occasionally creative chef? I do indeed. Would I also just rather someone else do that work so I can concentrate on eating it? Yes. So much yes.

But enough of those impossible daydreams! Let me get to the quizzes so I can get to the tacos. Sev and his son are out enjoying today's gorgeous weather, and I'm focused on cookery, so there's no fanciful origami today. I did tidy my library table, though, so today's parchments ( should be easy to find. )

I've been remarkably productive for a Monday, which means that now all I want to do is find a hammock to flop in and a Mai Tai to drink. Alas, there are no hammock-suitable trees nearby, and though I've mostly made the transition to summertime foodstuffs, I haven't stocked my freezer with ice trays yet. I shall have to make do—fitting for a Monday.

Sev and I are still taking it easy, though, enjoying the blustery heat before it becomes unbearable in the next few weeks, so feel free to pick through today's quizzes on your own. The scrolls are tucked under the flowerpot in the corner, ( but you can probably hear them fluttering. )

I started this ages ago when I needed a distraction and longed to linger over the books I'd read and rejoiced in last year, and I've been pecking away at it ever since. It feels a little silly to post a Books of 2024 meme almost halfway through 2025 but here we are! If you are at all curious about the books I loved (and loathed, I guess, but mostly loved) last year, ( please, step right this way! )

I'm in the middle of listening to an episode of Hidden Brain about the difficulty and power of saying no, and while it's fascinating, I find I'm mostly listening to it so I can better understand what others experience when they struggle to say no. I spend a lot of time these days fighting to say yes to things because I am, inherently, someone who says no a lot. I am really, really good at it.

And by that I mean I have legitimate no-saying talent and skill. So much so that my coworker used to joke that I was the enforcer on our team: if anyone needed to be told not to do something or that something wouldn't work or that we simply would not be participating, I was the one to handle it and only rarely experienced any pushback. I also coached her and many others in my life on how, exactly, to tell others no.

It's been many years since I've held that role, so it's a little tricky to recall the exact details of any of those nay-sayings, but one of the points that the psychologist in this Hidden Brain episode makes is that people try to soften their no with a compromise—"I really can't but if you need me to, I will," for instance—and I think one of the things I coached people through was how to say no firmly but with respect.

Much of the time, they were dealing with people they liked and wanted to please—customers, of course, but also friends or parents or siblings—and when dealing with people they liked, they didn't want to seem inconsiderate or cruel. And so we would work through how to turn someone down while ensuring the words and the tone were thoughtful and measured and earnest. "See?" those nos would convey, "I'm not saying no because I don't care for or respect you. I'm saying no because I've really thought about this and no is the correct answer. I'm saying no because I need to."

I have no doubt our practice runs helped, but I also really think that shifting the tone toward careful consideration helped the no feel like something that honored the relationship instead of something that had the power to destroy it. And with that in play, it was easier to be firm and confident in the no instead of equivocal or nervous or defensive.

I don't miss being the enforcer, though it absolutely vibes with my shieldmaiden energy, and saying yes to more things these days feels right as I try to battle through my fear and anxiety and embrace my embarrassing awkwardness in, like, everything. But I did really enjoy helping people figure out how to articulate their boundaries and view their nos as important sign posts for what they wanted and needed from the people in their lives. I hope I'll get to do that again.

I think I've discovered the source of my vague antipathy toward Pedro Pascal. I mean, I love him in The Mandalorian, but he's mostly a voice in a tin can with a wide variety of expressive head tilts in that. When everyone else was falling in love with him in Game of Thrones or that second Kingsman movie, I just couldn't get on board. I didn't hate him, but I didn't want to watch him in anything either.

Cue my recent rewatch of The Mentalist. I rarely rewatch anything, but I'd started the show in the middle of its run, and I wanted to get a sense of the story arcs and relationships as they develop from the very beginning. It's been an engaging ride, as I'd hoped, but who should appear in the penultimate season? Pedro Pascal. As Agent Pike, Jane's rival for Lisbon's affection.

Even given my mixed feelings about Jane and his shenanigans during this rewatch, I still want to jealously guard his relationships with the CBI team and Lisbon, in particular. How dare this interloper attempt to wreck the Jane and Lisbon 'ship?! Step off, you skinny, looming saboteur! Every scene he's in feels like an eternity, and I suddenly understand why the sight of poor Pedro Pascal's face has been so off-putting for so long.

Sorry, Pedro Pascal. It's not you, it's Agent Pike. And now that I know, surely I can start to rehabilitate my impression of you. Which is important not only because you seem like a good person and don't deserve to inherit any disdain intended for a fictional character...but also because I've heard excellent things about The Last of Us and I'd hate to miss it.

My mom is currently road-tripping across New Mexico, Airstream trailer in tow. It's her first big excursion, a sort of trial run for after she retires this coming winter, and so today's quizzes are in her honor.

Sev's son has insisted on folding the parchments into little frogs, so I'm going to see if he'll let them leap over here. Maybe if I make some enticing frog calls? ::ribbits unconvincingly:: Hmm. Maybe I should try being a little green tree frog instead? ::quacks, much more successfully:: Ah, here they come! ::muffled giggles in background:: I see you, kiddo! Are you laughing at my frog noises? You must know: this means war!

It seems I have a tickle offensive to put into action, but while I'm away, ( enjoy the quizzes! )

Today's person of focus is Bantling, who now possesses distinct enough interests and preferences that I'm able to hunt down a few quizzes. And since Sev and his son have had a day to settle back in, they're here, ready to fork over parchments and show off some snazzy hand-drawn renditions of the results. (Sorry I can't share those. Sev's son is apparently very willing to offer me adorable illustrations of frogs and dinos and gardens provided I do not post them publicly. I can't even hang them in my cubicle at work. Alas.)

But since I've offered an inkling of the quizzes on offer today, let me present them with no further ado. Sev, may I have the results? ::crisp crackle of parchment accompanied by a mouth trumpet doo-doo-do-dooooo!:: ( Excellent fanfare, kiddo! )

It's so quiet around here with Sev and his son out of town for a long weekend—according to Sev, they're hunting ingredients, but his son insists roller coasters will be involved—but it does mean I get to blast BTS and dance around the house as much as I want. Since tonight is сестра's and my weekly watch-and-chat night, and we've been making our way through BTS videos for over a year now, listening and dancing is a great warm up.

In fact, all of today's quizzes are BTS-related, but I think they're pretty enjoyable even if you're not a BTS fan. One, in particular, is especially insightful—or seems to be, judging by how accurately it captured сестра, Hermione, and I when we all took it. ::pops earbuds in, sings along:: ( G'on run, run, run, enjoy a quiz or three, yeah.... )